Contrarian Pet of the Week

Meet Ferret!

We told you we wanted to have fun, and we take fun seriously at The Contrarian. Each week we will share The Contrarian pet(s) of the week. (The pet need not be contrarian.) Subscribers are invited to submit their furry friend!

Name: Ferret

Age: 3

Breed: Alley cat (faux Siamese)

Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Hobbies: Snuggling. Staring into the void. Bossing around cat-sibling Birdie and dog Gracie. Drinking a cold trickle of tub water. Meowing for his 5 o’clock dinner at 4:15 p.m. Sitting by the front door, pretending he wants to be an outdoor cat.

Best Moment: Foster failing. Ferret was a Humane Society foster kitten; hence the goofy placeholder of a name. But when litter-mate Birdie needed to stay on with us for a couple extra weeks to get a minor surgery, we kept Ferret for company — after being assured he was so exotic looking he’d be easy to adopt out. We never tested that theory. The pair clawed their way into our hearts and never left.

Worst Moment: When Ferret had a phase of weeing on anything vaguely rectangular. (Think: laundry baskets, kids’ backpacks, winter coats, math homework.) Now, he just destroys couches.

Tim Dickinson is The Contrarian’s senior politics writer and editor.

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