Memorial Day reflections from an Iraq War Veteran

From Arlington to Normandy, America’s military cemeteries hold lessons for us today.

By Maura C. Sullivan

Each year on Memorial Day, we honor the brave Americans who gave what President Lincoln so powerfully called “the last full measure of devotion.” As a Marine Corps veteran who served in Fallujah, Iraq, and someone who has spent years walking among the hallowed headstones of our fallen, I know that remembrance must be more than ritual. It must be an act of recommitment.

In New Hampshire, that commitment feels deeply personal. Since 9/11, 80 Granite Staters have given their lives in service to our country. We are proudly one of the best states for military veterans. At the New Hampshire State Veterans Cemetery in Boscawen, rows of white headstones stand in solemn tribute to generations of service members.

Every year, the New Hampshire Run for the Fallen weaves through Waterville Valley or our Seacoast, sharing the names and stories of those we lost—ensuring that each is remembered not as a statistic, but as a son, a daughter, a friend, a hero. The organizers of the run make one thing clear: This is not a race. We finish together.

As an Assistant Secretary at the Department of Veterans Affairs and Adviser to the Secretary of the Navy under President Barack Obama, I’ve seen the strength and sacrifice of our Gold Star families up close. I’ve heard their stories in living rooms and VA hospitals, at kitchen tables and in cemeteries. And I’ve seen the heartbreak—and grace—of parents who have lost a child to war.

One of the greatest honors of my life was being appointed by Obama to serve on the American Battle Monuments Commission, overseeing our military cemeteries overseas. We would mark Memorial Day walking among the graves of the more than 100,000 U.S. service members who gave their lives in World Wars I and II. We paid our respects to over 9,300 Americans buried at Normandy and 23 sets of brothers buried side by side in Sicily-Rome American Cemetery in Italy. And I heard the stories of my fellow Marines who died in the famous battle of Belleau Wood, laid to rest in Aisne-Marne American Cemetery in France.

One Memorial Day, at Section 60 in Arlington National Cemetery, I met a Marine Corps Gold Star mother who sat beside the grave of her son, Eric. She comes nearly every Sunday and every Memorial Day to be with her son. She told me about Eric—his love of rugby, his bright blue eyes. Not long after, another Gold Star mom joined us, her son buried just down the row. The two women, bonded by unimaginable loss, laughed warmly about a tree that had grown tall and lanky over one of the graves. “Just like my son,” one said. “It’s his tree.”

Their strength reminds us that Memorial Day is a time to remember the fallen and honor them by supporting those they’ve left behind.

We must recommit ourselves to caring for our Veterans and Gold Star families—not just with words, but with action. That means funding the VA fully and ensuring timely access to mental health care, expanding support for caregivers, ansd investing in housing and job-training programs that allow our veterans to come all the way home. It means ending the cycle of political gridlock that all too often delays critical services and betrays the promises we’ve made.

On this Memorial Day, I think about my class of Marines, who went to basic training in July 2001, not knowing that our world would change forever in a few short months. One of my friends and classmates was the first casualty of the Iraq War in 2003. Another Marine I served with left behind a 3-year-old son. I can still picture him holding a small American flag at his father’s memorial service.

In an era of incredible division in our country, I still believe our flag stands for something powerful. It reflects our shared values and reminds us that even in our darkest times, there is far more that unites us.

Years ago, as I walked through an American cemetery in Luxembourg, a man approached me and pointed at the American flag lapel pin I was wearing. “Liberator,” he said, through broken English.

It is up to us to ensure the sacrifice of our fallen brothers and sisters is never in vain. So many gave their lives to protect and defend the idea of America: freedom and liberty for all. America has never been perfect, but it is worth fighting for. Let us continue the work of building not just a great nation but a good one.

God bless our Gold Star families. God bless New Hampshire’s fallen. And God bless America.

Maura Sullivan served in the Marine Corps in Fallujah, Iraq, before working in leadership roles at the Department of Veterans Affairs and Department of Defense under President Barack Obama. She is a Democratic candidate for Congress in New Hampshire’s 1st Congressional District.

---